What Happened Last Night

Lost two LED dart games in a row to 3 other co-workers at a Tiki-themed party.

Famous Sightings

A teenage Carrot Top was seen furiously kicking a student amidst a group of hoodlums. When confronted, he seemed to detect that his attacker concealed a pocket sap in the palm of his hand.

Adam Savage conducted a ballistics experiment in the baseball field behind an apartment complex using garden snails as marking shots.

All of a sudden...

A barefoot bank-robber

wondered why the silent security guard did not notice

he was carrying an automatic assault rifle in an attaché case.

I punched him so hard in the face the channel changed.

Sad Goodbyes

My father lay on his deathbed, the victim of a freak teleportation accident which merged his body with the frame of a red 10-speed bicycle.

Communicating through a brass threaded pipe nipple, I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth before he passed: that I hadn't actually been awarded the Medal of Honor as some Internet blogs had reported, but the Bronze Star instead.

Euopean Hiking - Stage 1

Beginning in the stairwell of a tour bus, hikers choose between the two options of climbing the Watzmann with a stay at Hitler's Kehlsteinhaus in the Bavarian Alps, or the foreboding Matterhorn along the border between Switzerland and France.

Life after Hogwarts

Set against a surreal backdrop of the city of London - torn apart by earthquakes the likes of San Franciscans would dread - where classic 18th century architecture is precariously built dwelling on top of dwelling, attached to impossibly-steep slopes and even upside-down, the saga chronicles the lives of recent Hogwarts graduates.

One former student recalls the increasing confidence bordering on hubris that rising seventh-year wizards would cultivate, thinking to themselves how much more applicable magical knowledge they had even above the abilities of their teachers.

IHOP QPAC

Try the new International House of Pancakes Quadruple Bacon Pancake Sandwich!

Made with quadruple the bacon, fried egg, cheese, and pancakes that make our signature breakfasts so appealing!

Drivel

Shiny red sweatpants-ed group sits on asphalt.

Hiding under a monster truck are John A. and Joey R.

Two angry girls come racing backwards around the corner in another truck looking for a caramel and white toy dog named 'Murphy'.

Mother, Father, son, and daughter walk along a snaking park sidewalk. Father is inebriated and cuts a straight line through the wavy path. Mother, lying and saying that her daughter is asleep, scolds Father to set a better example for their son.

Later, the white-haired Dad enjoys playing Goliath as his children jump on him.

Four Square

Grandfather mending leaking ceiling
(dated decorative dangling doodads)

Ramshackle lonely mobile home
(heavy hovering helicopter hurricane)

Crashed today neighbors away
(emergency eyewitnesses elucidate end)

Backpack lack callback snack
(cartridge collection cigar case)

First Days

First Day on the job at a Tastee Freez, making a double-chocolate dipped ice cream with nuts and a mango shake.

First Day on the job at JCPenney's in the Watch and Jewelry Repair department, duplicating keys, engraving a brass picture frame, replacing batteries and cleaning jewelry in the ultrasonic cleaner.

Convention Revisited

The One-King (presumably to rule them all) in a collaborative one hour level design challenge, tapes up day-planner sheets on cubicle walls.

Convention

Purple-faced acid-tripping engineer-kittens sketch fourteen environmental concept swatches thro_gh three reversing beeps.

Ballad of Nightwatchman 13-5

A security guard earning fifteen bucks an hour
with his nine-millimeter automatic pistol
briefly imagines his wife's plastic prosthetic foot
resting upon the seat of an antique rocking chair.

Adoption Attack

What happens when a wacky, drug-addled, alcoholic step-father comes looking for the couple who adopted his step-daughter?

Calvin Does Stuff

Calvin.

Back to Fontainebleau

Tony Anselmo enrolls at the University of California Santa Barbara campus after a twenty year leave of absence, taking up residence at the Fontainbleau apartments in the exact same room he lived in so long ago with Eric B., David H., Steve R., and Dave Z., and recounts some of his teenage exploits:

- jamming beer bottlecaps into the living room ceiling

- running a bathroom distillery

- dancing to Rock Lobster in the courtyard

- conducting unsuccessful botany experiments in the hall closet

- running barefoot and bloody across the second floor walkway

- playing Shinobi and Nobunaga's Ambition on the Nintendo Entertainment System, and Pirates! and Dark Castle on the Macintosh

- stealing laundry and snack quarters out of the Shinobi and Heavy Barrel arcade machines

- picking the lock of a bedroom in apartment 303

- setting off a homemade explosive comprised of powder, paper bag, and a nickel coin. He shows where the nickel ricocheted through the bedroom window, grazing his cheek and causing glass fragments to embed into his neck.

Junior High Video Game Development Club

Stuart C. and I are working on a Burnout 3 Crash Mode / San Francisco Rush - The Rock: Alcatraz Edition mod for the PS2.

Our club meets Tuesdays and Thursdays after school on the stage of the auditorium. Today, we arrived after orchestra practice and had to arrange our laptops amongst the forest of chairs, music stands, and stone statuettes of Mickey Mouse from Square's Kingdom Hearts 2.

After discussing the metrics and steps behind tackling a 3-level-of-detail tessellation of the island and our counter-clockwise racing course around it, I took a counter-clockwise victory lap around the auditorium in my socks and underwear, sliding, hollering, and knocking over the occasional statuette.

Tabletop Gaming Simulation

Sean G. demonstrates his 3D Vindicators diorama game complete with remote-control tanks, artillery fire and explosions.

Unfortunately it takes 20 minutes to 'load' (teardown, replace the scene, repopulate with new tanks) the next level.