There's Always a Vehicle

JD drives AG & SL (sitting in AG's lap) in an orange Volkswagen Jetta GTI, backing out of the court after the business meeting and shaking hands with SR.

Wrong Floor

FXL meant to take the elevator to the lobby from the 34th floor but returned after a trip up to floor 36.

Recursion

1.
- Chinese restaurant bathroom, kitchen
- spiral wooden staircase
- Mayan-themed water park
- convenience store ticket counter

2.
- party of out-of-uniform Cub Scouts
- damp night air
- waterlogged footsteps
- display window demolition

3.
- lumberjack hat
- frost
- 5am swimmers
- sentient transforming Coca-Cola delivery truck extends landing gear before blasting off

DSTSD - Department Store Tube Sock Derby

The game is played with two teams of nine, one of whom, rides in a shopping cart who is the only one who can score a point for their team, but who has no means of locomotion on their own.

Typically, the shopping cart rider is armed with whatever handy item the venue affords: parts of mannequins, small electric kitchen appliances, and glassware are commonly employed in the Department Store venue for their piecewise flexibility, ball-and-chain momentum, and explosive shrapnel qualities respectively.

Mops, gallon jugs of milk, and twelve-pack cans of soda are favorites of the supermarket circuit (reach, dual-wielded clubs or heavy projectiles, and hard-hitting single projectiles)

Recently school gymnasiums have entered into the list of accepted locations. The lack of available weaponry for the shopping cart rider has lead to the expansion of rules regarding the number of team members, increasing the store limit from nine to twenty.

Gameplay parallels many rules and tactics seen in traditional roller derby, but with the destabilization provided by the slippery linoleum, tile, and hardwood flooring against the smooth tube socks, there is an increased propensity for players sliding, colliding, and falling down.

Whiteboard Costumes

Green marker spiky-haired clockwork robot helmet.

From Schoolbus To Impala

I was sitting in the third row on the left side of the bus.

Someone left their math textbook and an Advent of Annihilation comic behind.

We crossed a parking lot towards an old brick building.

I scootered downhill towards the entrance.

Someone mentioned that the mahogany panelling gave the appearance of a pub.

We walked along the carpeted hallway of an art gallery.

I left the group and trudged through a field covered in knee-deep snow.

Someone threw a snowball.

We climbed up a snow-covered hill towards another parking lot.

I unlocked the passenger door of the white 1979 Chevrolet Impala.

Get Free Stuff!

Today's free offer comes from Jack in the Box. An employee dressed up as Pinhead from Clive Barker's Hellraiser (except with Dum Dum lollipops in place of the pins) is standing in the parking lot of your nearest restaurant handing out samples for their newest taste treat:

Jack's BBQ Ice Cream Crunch!

The treat consists of a hollowed-out log of tender barbecued beef, lined with melted Monterrey Jack cheese and bacon bits (for the crunch) and your choice of vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry ice cream, served on a super-sized Popsicle stick.

I chose vanilla since I wanted to be able to savor the flavor of the bacon, cheese, and barbecued beef.

05/08/2049

announcer
bystanders
can
Disney
elevator
follow
games
heart
in
jaguar
kitsch
lackadaisical
music
natural
oboe
parks
quill
recalcitrant
solo
triangle

violin
world
xylophone
you
zzz

We Miss You Spalding Gray

Just as Spalding's trick of leaving his wallet on the beach nullified his fear of a shark attack, so did my leaving a triple footlong hotdog on a six inch bun in the microwave eliminate my fear of public speaking.

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in big ol' fat drops — except under the eaves, where it was diverted by feeble bursts of wind which swooped across the hedges (for it is in Morgan Hill that our scene lies), lingering around the front porch, and gently moistening the choking glow of my cigarette that guttered against the darkness.

Bubblegum Pink Cotton Candy Rainbow Unicorn Princess Theater

Misleading ushers into believing in the delivery of a celebrity, Steve searches corridors, opens portholes and doors, then a portcullis. Stumbling into purple-pink mist, he witnesses an impressive vista. Insisting in listing, this instigator revisits slim positions willing, listening intently, interpreting wishes, sitting in chintz-fitted barcaloungers.