HVAC Moonlighting

J designs a commercial system for the 35-story, 804,000 square foot Sail Tower in downtown Austin.

He rents a studio from Northshore apartments to keep an eye on his work. 

Final Assault

We should have trained archers.

We three make our last stand in the abandoned city.

Against mechanized, wall-removing, leaping machines, we wait.

We hope to meet them in single combat.

The attack never comes.

Shop Vacuuming

Power loss

Hazing the New Hire

We run a natural history museum display open to the public.

We asked our new assistant to setup folding chairs in the sand.

Barrel

A mural (this was a mistake) of Silly Putty photo transfers looks like a pencil drawing.

A Spanish-speaking abuela gives me $16 for the artwork.

A Bus ride to nowhere drops me off in an unfamiliar apartment complex in SFO.

Elementary school kids entertain with makeshift instruments.

A young assistant teacher comments on an old song they heard on the radio: “it’s actually ‘BARREL’,” pointing at their solar plexus.

Buffs + Candy

Players debate the value of League of Legends Baron buff when paired with Lemonheads.

Sutro Tower

Cresting a hill, standing on the trunk of a brown Mustang Fastback with black racing stripes, riding it like a Lime scooter, steering by grasping a roof-mounted handlebar, I see it: the three red and white legs of Sutro Tower.

I guide my ride through gently worn paths in the grass.

You'll Get It Worse

Hanging out.

In this corner of the station.

Late at night.

Expecting no one.

Children hurry through.

While their mother's back is turned, they glare at us with anger and resentment.

"You'll get it worse if there's no blood," one mutters at me.

Stephen!

“Stephen!”

I Wear This Mask

At the end of the checkout line, collecting groceries in bags, I feel something on my face.

Like walking through a single spiderweb strand, without thinking, I raise my hand to brush aside the feeling.

But it touches something sticky, and my vision unravels like two identical overhead transparencies sliding out of alignment. My ears begin to burn as anxious termites fill all the empty space in my chest cavity.

The mask slips, and I can see its blurred outline hanging on my face.

I rush down a hallway to a restroom and stare at my reflection in mirror-polished stainless steel; it’s there, flickering into existence with the impermanence of a far-away radio distress call.

I grasp the mask delicately with pinched fingertips, marveling at its gossamer complexity: a snowflake pattern cut from black crude oil with the same faint acrid aroma.

Why? How? When? My mind asks and answers the same questions in an instant, knowing that I already know the answers:

We wear our mask to survive future pain.

We built our mask from society’s prompts.

We’ve been building and refining the mask from the first moment we felt the anxious termites of shame filling our chest cavity.

“This mask is mine,” I murmur to myself, as TC enters the restroom. I can see their mask covers their entire body.

Insanity

At the same place

At the same time

Same night of the week

With the same people

And the same drinks

And the same smells

And the same music

Looking at the same tired faces

Having the same conversations

With the same fleeting realization that we’re doing this again

Expecting different results

Never Did Get My Laundry Back

I’m walking to the laundromat after work, carrying a black burlap Primal Rage duffle bag of dirty clothes. One of the details in the previous sentence is untrue.

The laundromat is past an airplane terminal, and curbside stewards are loading passenger baggage onto a conveyor belt. One of the details in the previous sentence is untrue.

I stumble over a crack in the sidewalk and fall to the ground, catching a glimpse of the duffle bag as it lands neatly on the conveyor belt. One of the details in the previous sentence is untrue.

Wincing in pain at the faint red scrape visible on my knee through the tear in my jeans, I become aware through my peripheral vision that my duffle bag has disappeared out of sight. One of the details in the previous sentence is untrue.

Thankfully, it’s a very short run from the curb to the cargo hold of the awaiting plane, as workers rhythmically toss suitcases, then my duffle bag, into an opening in the plane. One of the details in the previous sentence is untrue.

I leap through the opening. One of the details in the previous sentence is untrue.

Strangely, the pilot announces an emergency takeoff procedure, the cargo hatch closes, and the plane begins to shudder as its engines rev up and carry it down the runway. Two of the details in the previous sentence are untrue.

Strangely, the pilot announces an emergency evacuation procedure, and I join passengers and crew as they leap out of the trundling plane. Two of the details in the previous sentence are untrue.

As my scraped knee is thwacked on the tarmac, and just as the skyrocketing dull pain reaches my brain, the plane explodes in a fireball at the end of the runway! All of the details in the previous sentence are untrue.

I blame recent TikTok videos of hot air balloon tragedies and Steal a Brainrot victim crashouts on this dream.

Brown Pool

It’s an underground parking garage; or course it can fill completely with sewage.

Winter Still

Winter still

Winter chill

Covered in bright

Covered in white cross-cut shredded paper

Plausible Deniability

Keeping your eyes closed while receiving a shipment of contraband does not confer this benefit.

Typographic Landscape

Here’s a line of capital ‘M’s pretending to be a miniature mountain range:

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Hospital Concert

While standing on the patient’s bed and watching TV, the musician stumbled backwards and fell backwards, crushing an acoustic guitar.

Park Contractor

I’m the general contractor for an amusement park, slow-walking the scheduling of new projects as I slow-walk though the park.

Tummy Thunder

There’s a rumbling outside and in my stomach; probably from the undercooked potatoes in the curry.

Airsoft Kool-Aid

Matt P plunged the barrel of his sniper rifle into the olive green pool, and stirred.

Field Trip

Escorting children off the school bus at the Natural History museum,  Steve finds a roll of pennies.

Opening the roll, he finds a 1944 cent with the Lincoln Memorial reverse, and a 1924 Barber dime, both coins literal one of a kind unique impossibilities.

E3 2049

The Electronic Expo revives in the old Towne East mall in Wichita, Kansas. Each former commercial store is a cavernous showroom dedicated to a single arcade game.

As one of the first attendees, Steve sprints down a second floor walkway, past a Spencer’s Gifts filled with dozens of Star Wars arcade machines.

Next door, a B. Dalton bookstore shows rows and rows of classic Asteroids cabinets.

The upper floor of JCPenneys displays nothing but Primal Rage machines: hallways filled with upright cabinets, bright white showcase 33” screens, and a converted Jurassic Park cockpit.

Spotlighted at the front of the store is a unique prototype machine seemingly carved out of a model volcano, with control panels placed close to the floor, forcing players to sit cross-legged or kneel in a sandy compartment to play. Somehow there are four of these compartments around the base of the volcano, with caves cut into the slope where 25” monitors are mounted. 

Dominating the peak and vent of the volcano is a rotating holographic projection cube that shows off the fighting game action. Monolithic Stonehenge pillars contain stacks of subwoofer and speakers, rattling spectators skulls with each prehistoric punch.

Stabbity Rainbow

Mom’s solar-powered multitool walking stick is color-coded:

RED: 3’ telescoping steel spear

ORANGE: 7” serrated steel jackknife

YELLOW: spare sewing needle

GREEN: tungsten rock bar tip

BLUE: wooden toothpick

PURPLE: 50,000 volt titanium cattle prod

PINK: barbed aluminum wire-guided crossbow bolt

Spray Painting

Spray painting IRL.

Taking a nap.

Spray painting in my dreams.

Bling Bling Bling

Pearlescent, iridescent, translucent,

strawberry scratch n’ sniff,

rose gold Rolex.

Own A Subway

Carpooling in to the office. We plan to leave at 5:45pm.

Breakfast smoothies are all gone but there are chocolate crullers. I have one with coffee.

Checking in on my arcade game cabinet under repair, the color scheme is white and orange. The game is a racing puzzle strategy like Mille Bournes, but with multiple vehicles.

Walking after lunch, I try to snap a picture to own a subway car.

Cool Beach Vacation

I wake up 15 minutes before my 6:45am alarm goes off.

Ride the bus to an empty beach parking lot but TD isn’t there.

Instead we meet them, ZR, MM, and HD downtown and rent Razor scooters, racing up concrete stairs, then climbing impossibly steep salt girder formations.

“We could’ve taken the elevators,” I gasp at the top.

Forgotten Memories

Whenever a song from the 80's plays on the radio, I get a feeling of a forgotten memory.

Maybe it's something to do with a familiar smell, like the almost-imperceptible aroma of slightly overheating electronic components.

Maybe it's the potpourri of disinfectant, sweat, and the metallic scent of tokens, mixed with the cacophony of arcade sounds.

Maybe it's the multisensory kinesthesia of Happy Days reruns on the TV, Bard's Tale on the C64, and a high school art project.

Each song is the soundtrack to a 3-minute time capsule of a forgotten memory.

Intergame Transfer

I lassoed a Dark Red Hereford in Activision’s Stampede, and fixed a saddle on its back.

I mounted and rode the calf, leaping out of the CRT, IRL.

Then we jumped into my laptop and explored our new Minecraft world.

Fall Harvest Decor

Eggs and sausage fry in oil in a concrete basin.

I pass by several times (with shoes and bare feet) through the food court, and up and down staircases, among the fall harvest decorations.

On the third time passing, I pick up someone’s discarded sandal and hang it on a hat rack.

Later, creeping slowly with headlights off as partygoers return home. 

Paintball Tactics

Pinned down. No ammo. Enemies repositioning. Daring attack. Surprise victory. Weapon acquired. Flanking maneuver. Rocket launcher. Building interior. Hallway formation. Videogame defilade. Ceiling explosion. Prisoner surrender.

The Great Spreadsheet War

Armies of Gray and Brick Red ceramic tiles clash in a war to win a construction bid.

Prototype Build Quote

"It's gonna take an hour at least to build each of the three configurations you want, and longer to test each one."

Falling With Style

Playing with the reduced effects of gravity at the university’s new science research center construction site.

Leaping and soaring high above the steel beam structure. 

Floating softly and controllably back to the ground.

Heading to the showers where janitorial staff host an interview with a new pest control company.

There’s cake.

Underground Fried Rice

Carved into the foot of a mountain, this restaurant features 999 varieties of fried rice including: chicken fried rice, beef fried rice, pork fried rice, shrimp fried rice, vegetable fried rice, honey fried rice, miso fried rice, shoyu fried rice, duck fried rice, mushroom fried rice, pineapple fried rice, egg fried rice, lentil fried rice, birria fried rice, lamb fried rice, goat fried rice, fish fried rice, shadow fried rice, rainbow fried rice, potato fried rice, steak fried rice, tofu fried rice, peanut butter fried rice, butter fried rice, seaweed fried rice, cranberry fried rice, chickpea fried rice...

Popper Parkour

Thousands of makeshift jumbo toilet paper poppers adorn the ceilings of a three story townhouse with furniture packed into every room.

Egg Water

At the indoor community pool, a bucket of hard boiled eggs is dumped into the water.

AH grabs one and eats it while, with the shell on, while I stuff my sweatpants pockets.

Strawberry Bavarian

Some remember today as the day in 1806 when Bavaria declared itself a sovereign nation.

But I will remember it as the day my brother and I rode bikes and slurped strawberry ICEEs.

Monster Truck Art Show

At Mr. S’s free annual “It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World” monster truck themed art gallery, several contestants are turned away for being too ‘pushy’ in the registration line.

Each of these contestants was unique, exhibiting some uncommon or rare physical disability: dwarfism, albinism, muscular dystrophy, ataxia, alopecia, and many with one or more missing limbs.

These contestants rejoined the registration line and were eventually admitted to join the parade of trucks roaring around the obstacle course while displaying a wide variety of art projects in oil and watercolor paint, ink and pencil, woodcut prints and etchings, charcoal and crayon resist.

It Swindy

Thought sand feeling smash together.

Nextdoor, the Netflix Airlines travel agency closes early.

Swinging Venetian blinds indicate an open window.

A yellow gumball gacha machine bursts open; its contents swirl around the empty office.

Bonus! Free DS!

I forgot I left my laptop and backpack in an outdoor patio of a BBQ restaurant.

When I returned, everything had been neatly returned to my backpack, including someone’s Nintendo DS I didn’t recognize (mine is red).

I spent the rest of the dream searching for the owner of the DS - someone who named their Animal Crossing character, Kira.

Using a dream

Missing a semicolon

Nightmare
Business trip to Europe 
Seedy dark downtown
Unfamiliar Coworker bros
Delieriant pills
Social gatherings in a church
Nighttime alley confrontation
Foot chase
Hop on moving subway train
Lost shoe
People on train concerned/praying
Acapella singing group
Headless singer interviewed
Calling dial tone
Wake up
Text wife
Text work
Meditate
Pet a dog
Jumping For Treats

Scooter World Tour

It starts off as a basketball / dodge ball tournament with 8 teams of seemingly 100 players each.

I moved over to Team F with the Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity. We did center court drills with partially deflated basketballs until after dark, when the zombies started to emerge. Then we broke into groups of 4 to survive.

Unfortunately we forget to lock the five double front doors and two zombies shamble through around dawn, prompting the scooter leg of the game.

With reduced gravity settings it’s easy to clear 6-foot gaps, weave perpendicularly through street traffic, and jump over 5-foot hedgerows.

I leaned back after longer and longer jumps, landing gently into a manual on the rear wheel, and riding it for hundreds of feet down the sidewalk.

I began to lose consciousness after leaping into a multiplayer frozen river section. The graphics changed into 8-bit and the camera angle switched from 3rd person to top down. There were too many player to player collisions and not enough tricks.

Elevator 7B

Nobody can tell me the location of this elevator.

Staff and I look at a map while teenagers roughhouse across a counter.

Plane to Oklahoma

It’s really a small office with a bed in the back corner.

Two other passengers fall asleep before the flight.

I flip on the light to read and a giant cat slinks down the hallway.

So Cute

tiny scorpion
snips the tympanic membrane
while you are sleeping

Cable Crtitters

wasps stealing WiFi
don't kid yourself that they don't
change your passwords now

Silent Cicada

silent cicada
even the loudest insect
quieted by death

Natural mezuzah

a sneaking gecko
hears a squeaky hinge and the
crunch of flattened bones

Round and round and round and round!

Play a round of Plane Around!
Circle high above the ground!
Every lap: a happy sound!

Play a round of Plane Around!

Best new game that I have found!

Yes it's free! Let me expound!

Play a round of Plane Around!

Soon it will be world renowned!

Beat my score before I'm downed!

Play a round of Plane Around!

English Beat Weekend

Piano in the bathroom
Fridge on the porch
This is the week
We get new floors

We’ll be going to a restaurant
That's got drive thru
Since our dishwasher
Is also in the bathroom

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams

If you want to be transported into a World of Pure Imagination, please play Wonka's World of Candy with the sound ON - even better with headphones! Listening to the vast myriad of instruments (accordion, electric bass, clarinet, harpsichord, even kalimba) coupled with the background remixes of the most memorable music from the 1971 movie (I've Got a Golden Ticket, The Candy Man) takes me back to those fond childhood memories, and at the same time, immerses me in a whole new World of Candy.

Do your brain a favor and start playing today.

You have so much time and so few levels to see! Wait a minute! Strike that. Reverse it.

- A proud Zynga employee

#WonkasWorldOfCandy

Fatality

Riding in the Celica with no driver; figure I should move into driver seat. A high speed crash at a T-intersection on my right throws flying debris. I swerve into left lane to avoid it and falling palm tree. Double back to investigate crash and find the dead victim under a trash bin.  He was transversely bifurcated.