Counting Sound Effects

...at a polished-metal haunted house entrance there are ten:

1. a yawning rusty echo through giant cylindrical ducts
2. a tiny tinkle of a tin bell
3. a raspy grating of two steel surfaces sliding against each other
4. a long low humming reverberation emanating from slightly vibrating lead columns
5. a sharp ricocheting report bouncing off curved surfaces
6. a feeble tinny twang from plucked aluminum teeth
7. a startling giant bong when a hollow sphere crashes onto a thin cymbal
8. a rippling and undulating rolling sound for the sphere as it travels across brass
9. a million miniature sparkling spangs when thin needles impact a thick block of gold
10. a silent whoosh from staring at the blackness inside iron helmets

Waste Of Time

(Travelled back in time 1 minute and wrote a check for $1)x100

(Hid the proceeds in the base of a toilet)x1

(Changed into, then out of swimwear)x2

Similies That Are Mostly Plausible Show

Building a hiking expedition with Rugrats Duplo blocks is like Larry from Sit 'n Sleep trying to sell a Celestron AstroMaster 114 EQ Reflector Telescope to Thesha Sims.

Buy stamps!

P.S. the longest word in the next facebook scramble game after this post was 'STAMPING'.

Getting Married

Robin and Ben get married on tonight's episode.

Illuminated under soft orange lights, Ben attempts to do a barrel roll but actually succeeds in performing a cartwheel in place.

Even before I opened the attached invitation, a custom retro-looking video game screenshot, I knew what it looked like since I had previously played Daniel Benmergui's "I Wish I Were The Moon".

Celebrity Footrub

NBC's ER episode featuring Parminder Nagra and Linda Cardellini.

Indiscreet Mathematics

C(x) & M(x)
M(x) -> S(x)
... S(x)

1. C(x) & M(x) : premise
2. M(x) -> S(x) : premise
3. M(x) : Simplification, 1.
4. S(x) : Modus Ponens, 2., 3.

60-minute Commercial Block

Elmo's Celebrity Rehab Center features a giant spaghetti ball that leaves a marinara sauce trail on the floor and walls!

Wow Wow Wubbzy - "Wubbzy Saves The Day" follows.

Radio Static

shiny red Gyarados slushie
following yellow arrow signs which read, "PLUSHIE"

sidewalk storefront handing out free doughnuts
ding-dongs, ho-hos, one with rainbow sprinkles turns out to be a tiny journal

four steps up into an antique store
Captain Jack Sparrow said that there's a secret passage from here to the original store location in San Francisco
the store's curator asks me to remove my backpack

the bathroom door slams shut and bows inward, saturated with water
punching through (as if into a snowbank) discovering the door is locked with a red ribbon

Synopsis

Superman, in a fictitious footrace against Super Girl where they ran and leapt perpendicularly across warehouse rooftops and returned to the starting line (he actually pulled her along as they soared through the air), in a desperate attempt to finish quickly, plummeted headfirst haphazardly towards the ground, narrowly missed the moving railroad handcar rolling by, and created an enormous crater which penetrated the foundation of the Keep-It Self-Storage facility in Santa Clarita, California.

This episode was sponsored by the Flesch/Flesch-Kincaid readability tests with a Reading Ease of 0.0 and a Grade Level of 34.5