Tony Anselmo enrolls at the University of California Santa Barbara campus after a twenty year leave of absence, taking up residence at the Fontainbleau apartments in the exact same room he lived in so long ago with Eric B., David H., Steve R., and Dave Z., and recounts some of his teenage exploits:
- jamming beer bottlecaps into the living room ceiling
- running a bathroom distillery
- dancing to Rock Lobster in the courtyard
- conducting unsuccessful botany experiments in the hall closet
- running barefoot and bloody across the second floor walkway
- playing Shinobi and Nobunaga's Ambition on the Nintendo Entertainment System, and Pirates! and Dark Castle on the Macintosh
- stealing laundry and snack quarters out of the Shinobi and Heavy Barrel arcade machines
- picking the lock of a bedroom in apartment 303
- setting off a homemade explosive comprised of powder, paper bag, and a nickel coin. He shows where the nickel ricocheted through the bedroom window, grazing his cheek and causing glass fragments to embed into his neck.
